Ways Your Ego Is Negatively Impacting Your Life

 Take it from me when I say that we like to believe we've got ourselves figured out. I mean, we ultimately spend all of the time in the world with ourselves so no one should know us better than we know ourselves, right? The pros, the cons, and everything in between. The characteristics and behaviors we display along with what makes us happy and what doesn't. We like to believe we've got things all under control and that we are in full awareness. 

But what happens when we act out of character? What do we do when our feelings are hurt and our responses and reactions come from a place of selfishness? Is it something we've just got to accept? Are we even aware of the negative energy that derives from our ego? If you're like me, you could be spending day after day being blind to the rut that's in front of you. Especially when a conscious effort for change is not on the top of your priority list. And even more importantly, when you're not aware of the negative impacts your ego has on your life.

To help you paint the picture, ego is what provides us with our sense of identity or self-image. It is important in the sense that without it, we wouldn't be able to separate ourselves from others. Life would be a little difficult on this world without a sense of personal identity. However, ego can also have some adverse impact on our lifestyle, especially when things in the outside world do not match up with our idea of how things should be. It is our ego that wants us to be important, to be right and sometimes, to be better than others. 

When we let ego run these aspects in our lives, we are in danger of not being able to view life in a different manner. We miss out on an open type of conscious thinking along with living life a little more freely. Unfortunately, we can also (unknowingly) cause ourselves a lot of unnecessary problems. Here are just a few ways that your ego is negatively impacting your life:

Instead of looking inwardly, you blame others

Let's face it, the ego hates to admit it is wrong. While some of us are more self-aware than others, it is generally easier for most of us to place the blame elsewhere and never on ourselves. I mean, doing so would mean a loss of power and who wants to be at the bottom? Unfortunately, our ego will have us placing blame on good friends, co-workers, a family member or a spouse before taking a good look in the mirror. Allowing a mindset like this to fester can massively damage our relationship with loved ones and block us from reaching a consistent point of happiness and success. After all, who'd want to live with, interact with, or work with someone unable or unwilling to take responsibility? 

You spend your energy judging others

Due to the fact that our ego is so keen on defending our beliefs and ideas, it spends tons of energy judging the people around us. At no fault of our own, we've used our life learnings to conclude the difference between right and wrong; our values constructed on the foundation laid out by our parents, teachers, friends, media, etc. Our ego then creates a belief system that is true to us and defines how the world should be and how people should behave. When there are others that oppose that belief system, we are conditioned to pass judgement, thus driving a wedge between us and them. Ultimately, this way of thinking makes it very difficult for us and our ability to build relationships with members of society around us. When we refuse to accept others as they are, we make ourselves unhappy and our lives become unnecessarily difficult, especially when we are unable to work through those differences. 

You spend time comparing yourself to other people

One of the most common ways our ego is working out its place in the world is through making comparisons. Have you ever found yourself rating everything (whether it be looks, styles, belongings, etc.) and building a mental scale in which you use to determine where your things fit? Nothing strokes the ego more than looking down on someone for some perceived flaw. And while it may not be the case for all of us, most people aren't consciously aware of this characteristic. In some cases, matching up the reality in which we find ourselves in with the reality of others may help us find more gratitude for our situation, but it may also be a selfish attempt at trying to make ourselves feel better. Unfortunately, we may also find ourselves continuously comparing to a point of not feeling good enough and thus building the feeling of being "inferior" in our hearts.

You make everything about you 

The truth is, the ego doesn't care much about how others feel or how we make them feel. In fact, the priority (and concern) is more with how we look to people and their perception of us. That I can say wholeheartedly from real-life experience. When we function from the ego, we are much less compassionate towards people around us. One of the biggest mistakes that we can make is to see people only for what they can do for us or how being with them reflects on us as individuals. A path laid with those foundations will almost always lead to very shallow relationships. Additionally, when we can't be ourselves with other people for fear of how they might judge us, we can end up very lonely and closed-off. No bueno, people!

You push yourself to mental burn out

Last but not least, pushing yourself to hit the max capacity your mind is able to withstand is a very real thing. Because the ego is so determined to be seen as great or "better than", it can drive you way too hard. Since the main concern is the outward manifestation of success, the ego is known to care very little for needs such as rest, relaxation, relationships and fun. This can lead to being driven to work constantly, in every area of our lives, to become better and more impressive to others. As many know firsthand, the phrase "seeing is believing" hits pretty hard to a lot of us. If an objective at hand doesn't provide quantifiable results like a promotion, a pay day or hosting the best party ever thrown in the neighborhood, the ego isn't interested. Unfortunately, this mindset leaves no room for the more intangible factors that make life worth living such as satisfaction, purpose, spirituality and happiness. The worst part is that the cycle has the potential to never end due to the ego's viewpoint of always looking to be better, no matter what. (You can raise your hand now if you are guilty.) *Raises hand*

Closing thoughts

Believe me when I say this: I have great news to end this topic off on a positive note. The thing is, you can begin to positively impact your life through some self-reflection and a concentrated effort on keeping your ego under your control (and not the other way around). Sure that may sound easier said than done, but it's actually not as complicated as you may think.

 Truthfully, I've been guilty of every one of the above points in my own life and had even gotten to the point in which they had all become second nature; subconscious thoughts and behaviors, if you will. I was stuck in a pattern that I was simply not aware of and allowed myself to live within that pattern for all of my life. Thankfully, I was slowly able to self-reflect over the last couple of years, which then lead to the desire for change. For true change. Now, I'm not saying that I am completely free of my ego or anything like that. What I'm saying is that change is possible. When you become aware of the rut you are in and consciously choose to free yourself from the control of your ego, beautiful things can begin to happen in your life. The process does take time and massive effort on your part, but the journey is rewarding. Especially when you remain consistent and when you are supported. 

Stay tuned for future posts around this topic and some guidance you can use to begin running your ego and bring more positivity into your life. 

Peace.